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The "Groom" of the Wedding

Updated: Nov 17, 2023

Groom and Flour House Cakes wedding cake
Hetler Photography

So, you're getting married. And you're the soon-to-be spouse in your couple that cares less (or not at all) about the planning, design, and details. Congratulations! You're not alone. We'll call you the groom.

"Tell me when to taste the catering and the cake and I'll be there. But for the love of all that's good in this world, don't drag me to pick the texture of linen, the color of flowers, or the size of the invitation."

It's true that the traditional bride is the star of the show on the day of the wedding, and their opinion (or their mother's) most often wins the day. So, why contribute at all? Your opinion is at least 3rd, if not 4th or 5th, and it doesn't matter that much to you anyways, so let those who care about it, do it, right? This just makes sense.

However, the best weddings I've attended have left me with an experience of the couple together. What it means to them to be getting married. What do they love? How and why do they love one another? What gives meaning to their lives and to their life together? How do they play, find adventure, and dream about their future? And for one day, they get the privilege and pleasure to share these things with the people who are their people.

Regardless of gender and orientation, when it comes to weddings, it seems more often than not, one soon-to-be spouse, bride, groom, or otherwise, wants to be the pretty princess and the other is just happy to be invited. And the princess should have their day and you should have yours, but do it together.

It's ok to be the one who doesn't care about - or notice - the difference between taupe or mauve, peonies or hydrangea, but if you let your fiancé make all the decisions, your guests will miss out. They might not know what they're missing and they may still think you threw a great party, but for most of your guests, this isn't their first wedding. They will feel the difference between a wedding planned by one-half of a couple and not the couple together.

So, no need to show up here at Special Occasions if moss, sage, and olive sound more like food (moss? who eats moss?) than shades of green, but take the time to let your fiancé know what matters to you, why they matter to you, and find a way to put those things into your wedding day. Your guests will know the difference. And that difference, might make your wedding one of the most memorable they've ever experienced.


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